I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
only if we run a train.
done.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
