oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
