Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You are the jesus of drinking
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
