Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize