I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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