I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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