I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
seriously i just wanna be friends
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so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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