apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I need a burrito and a hug.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
