Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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