Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
