Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
