Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh god it's open bar.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
