What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
