9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
