I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
