We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
