am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
