So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
