Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
