I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is classic penis vs brain.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
