Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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