Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
