Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
