Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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