He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
