the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
should my penis look like a turkey
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
