I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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