Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
