I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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