how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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