I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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