so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
