A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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