oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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