i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
