Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
