she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
