dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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