I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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