Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
