is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
