I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
