Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
