...so i touched it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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