I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
