I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
