He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
