so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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