Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
