You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
