We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
