maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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