I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize