That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
