bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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