I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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