They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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