There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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