What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
