I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
