Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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