I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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