Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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