But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
