I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
