Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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