I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
