that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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